As the youngest kid born into a large Catholic family, I walked the line of structure and tradition. Meeting the expectations of family and society, I dutifully adhered to coloring inside the lines as a female growing up in a complex culture of ever-changing rules.
>>> I was a “Good Girl,” and I rarely got out of line. I got mostly A’s throughout school, I was in by 9 pm every night, I held down a part-time job to make my own money, and I wasn’t “wild”.
(Because girls aren't supposed to be wild...that's so un-ladylike.)
So I dutifully went on to get my college degree, and loyally serving in the church as a cantor. Then I took a respectable nine-to-five job at a bank because I was advised that I needed to get a "real job."
(BORING!!! But hey, safe and with a steady paycheck!)
I assumed I would move up the career ladder and eventually gain the title of Mrs and probably Mom. Afterall, the messages around the importance of marrige and motherhood drowned out
the voice of wanting something for me.
Wasn’t this the role good women should want to just step into, no questions asked?
(To be the caregiver, the homemaker, the one who keeps it all together for everyone else.)
>>> Every day, I played the role of being reliable and stable. I was sure my loyalty and hard work meeting the needs of everyone else, would pay off. But my personal payoff wasn't coming, and it seemed like everyone else was getting their Amazing Moments.
I was losing my nerve and growing frustrated. Life was flying by and I was still waiting for my reward.
But I knew there was something greater for me...I wasn’t just brought here to live life at a minimum.
...and then, when it felt like it couldn't get any worse, my personal life began to fall apart...
Since I'm asking you to trust that “I get you” and I can help you get to where you want to be, I thought I'd share with you HOW I know...and what I know!
If you’re not a big reader, here is the 'cliff notes’ version:
→ youngest kid to a large Catholic family
→ perfectionist and people pleaser
→ became a church cantor at 21 and sang at different churches for 5 years
→ got a respectable 9-5 at the bank
→ my courage slowly shriveled
→ my spirit begged me to wake up
→ shocked everyone when I chose me
→ moved to Las Vegas
→ flipped the old script
→ my confidence went through the roof
→ started singing and performing and making money
→ met the love of my life—another performer
→ made the best music, met the best friends, and learned how to dream big
→ studied and researched and created a system that blows the lid off of fear
→ launched my dream career as a Success Magician
→ ready and excited to meet you!
Someone who I believed was "The One," really broke my heart. The relationship began with the right words, the right actions, and the right intentions (or so I thought) – and it ended with me discovering there was someone else practically the entire time. My relationship was a sham. I was so disappointed and ability to trust in myself, or anyone else, were totally dismantled. On top of it, my credit and identity were methodically stolen by this person.
Boy, what a rude awakening that was!
Aside from leaving me in pieces, he also took my money, my identity and my credit. I couldn’t believe that the 'good girl’ who had lived her life 'right' could have fallen for this. How did I not see this coming??
And then I suddenly felt the worst possible thing: “What would people think of me if they knew?”
>>> How had I’d been so gullible and naïve? Wasn’t I too smart to be conned like this?
Here I was, staying in my lane, making sure I didn’t stand out and that I didn’t rise too far above the crowd—or above him, fearing it would be uncomfortable if I shined too brightly. So while I was dimming my light, ensuring a comfortable situation for someone else, I suddenly didn't have a sense of my own comfort level.
This wasn't exactly living authentically!
...and this was not how God…or Goddess…
or the Universe wanted me to live!
But I was young at that time, and I had no clue how to have boundaries and say No to some of the expectations of family and community; I didn't know that is was okay to live a life more aligned with me and my dreams. So... I left >>> I took off, left my family, my job and my friends and went to Vegas!
In a couple of days, I went from church cantor working at the bank, to performing on the Strip! I sang on stage and made a livelihood performing and recording my music...and this began a long healing journey…one that lead me here.
The main thing was, I stopped feeling badly about wanting something more for myself. When I shifted my thinking, and had a few "Ah Ha!" moments, my confidence and self-awareness went through the roof. I could handle the triggers around criticism, petty opinions, and mean agendas. And stopped giving reasons ‘why’ to people who didn’t need to know.
The whole thing around the shaming, feeling guilty, and self-doubt was part of the old Self-Talk. I go after the things I want to now, and I don't owe anyone an explanation why.
Now, I'm not saying YOU have to run off to Vegas to reclaim your dreams...but when you work with me, I can help you let go of the old messages, and stories, so that you can rewrite the new ones...the new scripts that will point you in the direction of your passions, your dreams and where you see yourself going...the new stories that tell you that you are enough, you are smart, you can do it, and you are totally worth it!
P.S. I would love to work with you and be your Success Magician!